Sunday, October 10, 2010

The diary of a young girl who is going through a mid-life crisis

That's whats been on my mind a lot on this relaxing day off.
I know most people cant wait till they turn 18.
'Freedom at last!'
I feel the complete opposite.
I was raised with a lot of freedom as I hit my teen years.
My moms rule was I could have freedom as long as I didn't brake her trust which, in all honesty, I've never really done. So my last few years I've had what most kids could only dream of. But I never took it to extremes, which I don't regret. I'm glad I didn't do EXTREMELY stupid things (not that I've never done any stupid things, I will admit I've had a fair share of those).
I think part of the reason becoming an adult is so bitter minus the sweet to me is because I've always expected myself to be so much further with my life.
I used to hate when people would ask me 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'.
I'd say 'No, its what do I want to be now.'.
I said I was going to accomplish everything & conquer everything before this age so when I was an adult I could find new things to accomplish & do.
So eighteen is not coming easy for me.
I have to not only worry about my career & school, but also, where I'm going from here.
Which is proven to be difficult seeing how a lot of things to me are depending on one certain thing that just seems to be in a constant stuck position.
I have no control of the situation either which is making me realize how much of a control freak I am!

because I want to end this post on a happy note so.. Let pretend like I'm actually looking forward to my birthday. What should I do for it?
I was thinking about doing it at a roller rink & to a 70's themed?
I'm just dying to bust out my tube socks & Farrah Fawcett hair.

Also, tonight I made a wish at 10/10/10 at exactly 10:10:10. It felt magical :)


Robyn said...

A 70s roller rink party is the best medicine for the birthday blues. Seriously, look it up in the physician's desk reference.

kara lynn said...

aaah no way. i made a wish then too! well i'm not sure if i was right on the seconds mark but i did!