Thursday, July 7, 2011

and then my life was changed, forever. No big deal

Lecture phase of DTS (Discipleship Training School) is coming to an end bright and early Saturday morning.
I have been here since early April.
As I watch new DTS's starting and more people come in to start their lecture phase I cant help think, you have NO IDEA what you are getting yourself into.
I have learned that DTS does not stand for Discipleship Training School... at least not to me.
It stands for Die To Self.
Before I came here I was a selfish person. I came here wanting to change the World, but not knowing what it takes.
It takes someone completely unselfish, someone willing to lay down their comfort and sometimes even their own life to make a difference, even if they don't ever get to see the fruit of it.
I could never have done that in March and if you told me that is what I needed to be willing to do to really make a change, I think I would've plugged my ears.
I liked who I was.
The bratty girl I enjoyed being.
The one who didn't see the point in offering a helping hand.
The one that only dreamed of changing the World but was too comfortable to actually do anything about it.
The girl who let fear make her decisions for her.
That is who I WAS!
I wish I could tell you the exact thing that changed me.
The exact word that one of my speakers said or a moment or revelation...
but I cant.
I have become exactly who I wanted to be.
I don't have to fake caring or put on a fake smile.
I am the happiest I've ever been.
Whether I am hanging out in the slums in Romania with the gypsies, or in Germany and walking around this beautiful little town I have been living in since April called Herrnhut.
My life has changed for the better, I have changed for the better.
And all because I was willing to die to my self.
to my own ambitions and say, God this is who I want to be. Change me. i am willing.
and he did.
It was that simple.
Its that INSANE!?
I have wasted so much time knowing who I wanted to be and trying to make myself that person.
Pretend to be happy, pretend to truly care.
and God made me who I wanted to be, and gave the life I used to only dream about.
I would love to share more about that, but I think I will wait until after outreach.
Saturday morning I leave to go to Ethiopia.
I will be living there for two months, putting everything I learned into action.
I could not be more excited for this.
I'm going to Ethiopia!!!
Me, just a poor little girl from Texas, who was struggling with school and how to take care of herself is now living her dream.
Let that forever be my testimony to how good God is.


Lindsay said...

Brooke...I'm so incredibly happy for you. There has not been a day that has passed that I have not had a mixture of emotion at the thought of you. Jealous, happy, are doing things I only dreamed about...and becoming the person I always wanted to be able to be. We love you, and miss you...but want you to live this out. If it's 6 months or 6 years before you come back (if you ever do) our home is your home. We love you baby.

rue. said...

you are so great. you were in romania? lucky! my birth father is from there, they're gypsies. i'm adopted, haha. hey, p.s. did you ever get my letter?