Tuesday, March 15, 2011

I'm "in a relationship"

Bryce, Oh Bryce.

(unfortunately he isn't pron to taking "serious" pictures but personally I think his charming good looks shine through his silly faces, plus before this moment I never noticed how perfect his teeth really are... Scary)

Not that any of you guys are particularly interested in my love life, but I plan to tell you the following story anyways, because as Bryce says "I blog my whole life", so bear with me.

You may have heard his name mentions here before (in fact if you read those posts from bottom to top you can kind of see our rise & decline of a relationship). As you can see I met him on vacation on the Summer of my 16th year. I was visiting my best friend who was raised there & recently moved back. That month I was there was a world wind of events but I left that Summer not being sure of many things but one thing I knew for sure, I had left my heart in Utah, with Bryce. He was a soldier, about to leave for basic training, in his last few months of freedom. I was a teenage girl from Texas, without a job & no concrete plans for the future except to live life to the fullest & I was completely cynical about love (at this point in my life I thought love was nothing more than general attraction, that you had completely control of who you "loved" & for how long, & I was convinced that it was not heart stopping, there was no such thing has "fireworks" & "sparks" & marriage was equivalent to prison). Then, we met & he fell for me for some crazy reason I'll probably never understand & despite the fact that I was trying to keep my mind on the logically "No Brooke, you live in Texas, he is leaving, this will never work" I fell for him too. By the end of the Summer we were making crazy promises like "We are going to be together forever" & "The next few months will fly bye till my basic graduation then we will see each other again" & we were making plans for the future.
Unfortunately, a funny thing happens when you start becoming adults. You get selfish. You get mean. You start thinking a bit TOO logically. Add in a mix of missing the person you love so terribly you cant see straight & the frustration of the time you are suppose to see each other keep getting pushed further into the future & you have an emotional disaster on your hands, about ready to break. Maybe it was logical for us to break up like we did, & try to move on, find new people who we got to see more, or maybe people we cared for less so we wouldn't miss them so much when we weren't with them. But unfortunately, I couldn't do either. Not a day has passed since the day we met that I haven't thought about him & wished he was still mine.
Its been over a year of a back & forth games like "I love you, but I don't want to hurt you again", & "lets be friends" then quickly realizing we cant stay JUST friends, & trying to live without one another & then realizing that was close to impossible.
Yesterday we would've been together a year & six months.
But it was even better.. it was the day we got back together.

We've grown up, we've changed, & we've become 'somewhat' of adults right before each others very eyes.. but I'm glad one thing hasn't changed thus far.

More about Bryce: he is stationed in Korea, he has too many tattoos (just kidding! hehe but I do like to pick on him about this subject), he plays me songs on the guitar, he likes cars that go too fast & enjoys Scooby Doo, which honestly, if he didn't it would've been a deal breaker & is dreaming of one day becoming a cop, he is one of the most driven people I've ever met & the biggest hippie I've ever seen wearing a military uniform, & he has the absolute coolest mom.

So 'boyfriend' is finally boyfriend once again & all is right with the World & I can openly gab about how much it sucks when missing someone becomes a stable feeling in a relationship & I can confess to the World how much I really think about this boy without anyone passing judgement. :)

1 comment:

rue. said...

oh my hail. i loved this. i totally understand.